Tuesday, August 17, 2010


It's a beautiful day here in Colorado. Just exactly the kind of day that makes you wish you were outside hiking in the mountains with several close friends, admiring the view occasionally, but mostly watching where you step to make sure you don't trip on a squirrel or tourist. Colorado hosts a unique culture, one fraught with differences and smoothed over with a healthy layer of tolerance frosting.
Content to silently disagree with most of it's residents, the State will likely be a "swing state" for many years to come. It matters here what you think, it matters that you vote, and it matters if you think you don't need to stop at a stop sign. This isn't California, you can't get away with that very much here. Once, sure. Twice, probably. Three times, no surprise. But into the four's, five's and sixes...you're tossing the dice in Vegas.
If you live in Colorado you know all about but don't actually go to Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, therefore it's novelty is preserved. The gourmet, classy, creative and original candy shoppe is to tell family about and take them there when they visit. Along the way you can point out to them any one of our hundreds of Cannabis "Pharmacies", Colorado's "little grass shacks" that dot the landscape conveniently, springing up like...mushrooms after a rain. Hm...ironic.
Jean shorts will never go out of fashion, nor will khaki cargo shorts or pants with zips at the knees. They are no longer in style, but never did nor will go out of style, if you can wrap your mind around that concept. A paradox, yes, but it works. If you wear glasses you wear black, plastic rimmed ones, and you ride your bike to-and-from college with a book bag that you wear across your chest and to the side. The city of Castle Rock essentially doesn't exist unless you're traveling there that day, then when you get home it fades from memory again. Sitting uncomfortably in the middle, Denver in the North and Colorado Springs in the South do everything better than Castle Rock, and that's where mostly everyone lives.
We are passionate about our current events, but are open to most other opinions. We argue politics gently and listen well, smiling a lot. It doesn't necessarily mean you're right, but we're definitely not California. Or New York, for that matter. We want you to be able to afford to live here, so there is a house in your price range in an area you prefer. Every time. Every band comes to our state so New Mexico, Phoenix, Wyoming, Montana, Idaho and Nevada don't have to host as often. Nebraska can and does host all their own bands though. If you don't or haven't lived in Colorado you have either very close family friends or relatives that live here. Currently. We love our Broncos, but just as many people turn out to support the Red Sox as they do the Rockies when we play each other here at home. If you like another football team and live in Colorado, that's fine. You still have to love John Elway though, that's non-negotiable.
If you have a college degree but aren't using it or don't know what to do with it, come to Colorado. Our Starbucks will hire you, as will our Home Depot, mega churches, hotels and grocery stores. You can live with the other students from your school you know that live here and have a house together, and if you like you can go back to school pretty easily. During the summer it rains, during the fall it freezes over, during the spring it gets chilly and during the winter, summer peeks through randomly to keep that bicycle close to your front door. Our October 31st through early April is when it snows, and our weather is kindly tempered by warm days, our snow leaves just as quickly as it came, not turning to poop colored debris for more than a week at the longest. We're not New York.
Come any day of the year close to or far from election time and you'll still be offered a petition by equaling numbers of left and right "ists." Sign which ever one you want, but don't scream at them. Don't worry about a drive-by shooting. We don't say "hella" here. Our traffic doesn't really ever stop, although it does slow often. We get angry and flip birds but don't carry shotguns under our seats. We have hundreds of parks, overall good customer service and almost no lakes. Our desert is far away, which is how we prefer it, and the smog is kept to a minimum. We have no ocean, we have mountains. Get a jeep instead of a boat, they're cheaper.
We'll give you directions to where you need to go and Colorado people love the outdoors.
We're not California.


  1. you make me miss Colorado a little bit and hate California a little bit too. All in all, I'm currently in love with the Pacific Northwest :)