Lists Saturday!

Things that relax me:

1. Jessa
2. The sound of ceiling fans
3. Kids running around all over the place, yelling and playing
4. The ocean
5. Reading
6. Making meals with my sister Grace
7. Talking with patients, explaining what's going on with their body or a procedure we're about to do
8. Long drives at night
9. Studying, if there's no deadline imminent and looming like the shadow of a bear moving on my wall
10. Falling asleep at the movies. Best $7.00 sleeps ever.
11. Someone else's couch. Or my own. Or nobody's, just a couch.
12. Not bees or fevers.
13. Working outside on my vegetable plants/yard work

Things that do NOT relax me:

1. Being denied an equity loan on a house someday. I don't own a home yet, but if I do and this happens, I anticipate it will not be relaxing to me
2. The oxygen masks popping out from overhead on a flight
3. Someone jumping into my car, pointing a gun at my head and saying "drive"
4. Sarah Palin
5. Bees and fevers
6. Being unable to find the vein in a pregnant lady's arm when she's in labor
7. Yelling at people
8. Doing lots of push-ups
9. The ending of the movie "Training Day"
10. Wiring a garage.
11. Taking big tests
12. Small Honda Civics playing around in rush hour
13. Finding out one of the lead singers from a band I love is homosexual

Things that make me comfy:

1. Jessa
2. Couches
3. My bed
4. Not bees or fevers
5. Twisty ties, sometimes
6. A glass of cold milk on a hot day
7. Costco hotdogs
8. A house where it's okay to yell a lot

Things that go "bump" in the night:

1. Not Jessa, cause I don't know about that yet.
2. Couches being dropped on a wood floor
3. Ghosts
4. The wind pushing a vacuum with a towel draped on it against the wall on the porch outside my window
5. More ghosts
6. Jason hitting his head against the freezer door getting chicken from the fridge
7. Bees wearing sunglasses

What I would refuse to wear in public for an hour if you gave me a two hundred dollars:




What I want for Christmas:

1. Jessa
2. I already got my two front teeth
3. I already have the first five seasons of House
4. I already have both my legs
5. And both my arms
6. But a third arm would be nice
7. If it had a hand attached to it
8. I mean, who would be able to use a third arm if there was no hand with it?
9. That'd be really stupid
10. And awkward

What you want for Christmas:

1. Bees and fevers
2. Don't even get me started, I'm going to pretend you don't want a third arm with no hand
3. Other stuff